How to set your intentions

The most accomplished people I know hold themselves accountable to some kind of annual, written plan. They know that setting a goal is the equivalent of aiming a gun before firing it. You might accidentally hit a target using the spray-and-pray method, but it’s not a good bet. Some people spend more time planning a vacation than they do their life, with predictable results. Don’t leave the most important things in your life to chance. Use this straightforward template to help you set your intentions.

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Intention Setting Process

1. Many times, people have the sensation that their lives are out of whack but don’t even know what’s causing the problems. They can’t go about making course corrections because they’re not sure where they’re off course. Here are some questions to help you figure that out. (I focused them on your personal life rather than your business life, but you can use these for business by replacing “life” with “business.” Take some quiet time alone to think about the following questions, and journal on them if you have that disposition. In addition, or in place of reflecting alone, set aside some time with a confidant to help you discuss them.

> What is going right in my life right now and what is going wrong?

> What do I want more of in my life and what do I want less of?

> What are my “first principles” or fundamental life values that drive my decisions?

> Where did I learn these values? Why are they important to me?

> What dreams do I want to pursue?

> For big aspirations, what little steps could I take to move in that direction?

> Where are the gaps between the life I would like to lead and my current situation?

> Where am I stuck? Are there any issues of arrested development or stages of my life that I haven't been able to move beyond because some difficulty or trauma snagged me?

> Do I have any outdated scripts or obsolete ways of thinking about things that I inherited from others or developed on my own?

> What is the nature of the boundaries between my personal and professional lives? Do I have a healthy relationship with work?

> What are my regrets in life? What do I imagine I will regret looking back from the end of my life to this moment?

> If I had a magic wand, what changes would I make to reboot my life?

> What are others doing to get the kind of results I would like to see in my own life?

> What are the core values of my life? Are my daily actions consistent with these priorities, or am I living someone else's life?

> Am I taking very good care of my health? If not, what are the things that are holding me back?

> Am I living up to my responsibilities to my friends and family?

> Am I getting what I need from my loved ones, and if not, how can I go about working with them to obtain what I need?

> What am I doing to run from or distract myself from the things that I need to be working on in my life?

> What are things that I am doing that a thoughtful, intelligent group of people would observe about my life and identify as counterproductive?

> What would I want people to say about me at my funeral?

> What do I need to start doing?

> What should I stop doing?

2. Make a list of ten or fifteen circumstances in your life that you would like to improve. Trying to address all of these in one year is too ambitious, so a pick one or a few that have the greatest meaning for you to achieve. These are your intentions. (For your first year, I advise choosing as few as one, to increase your odds of success, rather than risking the project collapsing under the weight of too many projects.) For clarity, reduce each to a sentence. Examples:

§ I will sharply reduce complaining by weighing the value of a frivolous negative comment before giving it life in conversation.

§ I intend to increase my generosity by giving more of what I have (time, attention, money, compassion, etc.) to those who need those things more than I do.

§ I will begin a thrice-weekly exercise routine to enjoy the many benefits of physical fitness.

3. For each intention, identify specific steps to undertake in order to bring the intention into your life, and include deadlines if you’re prone to procrastination. For example, in the exercise example above, the first steps might include:

§ Immediately schedule an appointment with my doctor for a physical.

§ Make arrangements at work and with my spouse to free up 60-minute exercise windows on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Sunday will be my make-up day if circumstances cause me to miss one.

§ For the first month, start easy with a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood (rain or shine).

4. Share your intentions with your friends and family via email and ask them to check in on your progress from time to time. Post your intentions where you might see them occasionally, perhaps your computer screen saver.

5. At the end of the year, review your progress and what you learned. Gently evaluate your successes and failures, and report to your friends and family. Repeat the exercise.